Quick, Easy Shortbread

Last night I was tired but wanted something sweet, which is weird for me. I also wanted something that would go well with coffee the next day, and I remembered about 12 years ago I learned how to make shortbread. This also coincided with me and my ex-wife gaining 30lbs. (A piece)

It wasn’t JUST the shortbread, but that’s another story for another day.

It’s insanely easy and has just 4 ingredients. Learn to make this and you will impress people. You will need:

  • 1/2 cup (113 grams) softened butter
  • 1/4 cup (50 grams) white sugar
  • 1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) vanilla extract
  • 1 cup (128 g) all purpose flour

That’s it for ingredients. Simple is good. In food, anyway. Simple people can be a pain in the ass (especially when they run for president). Preheat the oven to 350° F (176° C). Add the sugar and vanilla to the butter and cream them (basically, beat the shit out of them with a wooden spoon/silicone scraper or if you have a stand mixer, the paddle attachment until they’re mixed thoroughly and a little airy-looking).

Then slowly work the flour in, maybe a 1/4 cup (32 grams) at a time and make sure it’s mixed in before you add the next one otherwise you wind up fighting the flour as it lubricates the dough. You need to be able to mix it against the sides of the bowl to incorporate it properly. This is a hard and fast rule when mixing in dry ingredients; always slowly.

Once it’s mixed, use a scraper to get it out of the bowl and mash it into a ball, then use a rolling pin or your fist to flatten it out like sugar cookie dough. You can cut it now, or you can just pop the whole slab on a cookie sheet and cut to later (be warned, if it dried out any it will crack rather than cut, so I recommend cutting it now. Otherwise, you can use the crumbles as a crust, like for cream pies (phrasing) or cheesecake, which is awesome).

Bake for 10 minutes, then check them. If they are slightly golden brown and not squishy to the touch, they’re done. If not, put them back in for 5 more minutes. Depending on many factors, it can take as long as 30 minutes to cook them to the right consistency. Be patient and put them back in for 5 minute intervals until they’re done.

Once they are finished, let them cool for at least 5 minutes, then eat them with some scotch or coffee.

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